What caught my eye this week.
I enjoyed Life After The Daily Grind’s article asking whether money and miserableness go together. It was sharply written and thought-provoking.
But I didn’t really agree with the main premise.
Over the last decade or so several of my friends have ‘made it’. From wealthy enough to eschew the commute forever, all the way up to properly rich.
And honestly, besides a bit of a psychic dislocation for the first year or so, they don’t change very much.
Rich pickings
You wouldn’t be able to tell the most understated and modest of my financially very successful friends from how he was 20 years ago, unless you were lucky enough to visit his gorgeous house in the country.
Meanwhile the one who took many of his best friends with him on his entrepreneurial adventure would have done much the same I think if he’d convinced them to eschew the rat race to decamp to Thailand.
As for the banker, yes it was hard to pin him down when he was working 100-plus hours a week in his 20s. But even nowadays when he mostly points underlings to the treadmill or works from home – or on the slopes – a few days a week, he’s still just as hard to get hold of. (It’s not just me…is it, N.?)
True, the friend I’m closest to remains restless and unsatisfied despite his eight figures. He still worries about money, and frets over whether he’s investing it right.
And he just can’t quit the game.
I guess this is the bit where I’m supposed to say I feel sorry for him.
But I don’t.
You see, he was restless and hungry when I met him – and it was part of what attracted me to him. His energy and drive is infectious.
I feel a bit guilty saying this, but if he now spent his days drinking sundowners and spending an hour meditating on the beach before an afternoon nap, I wonder if I’d be disappointed?
In contrast, if my co-blogger The Accumulator was living a materially richer life that was still abundant with quiet moments, I’d be thrilled for him.
That’s his lane, rich or poor.
The bottom line: money doesn’t seem to transform anyone very much – or at least not once you’re off the bottom rung. Mostly just the scenery and props.
Money, money, money
However I am largely with L.A.T.D.G. when they make this observation:
All the high achievers I’ve worked with over the years are disciplined, organised, and highly driven by material gain. While the people I know who strike me as the happiest don’t have these attributes and although not successful in the monetary sense — they are happy and find enjoyment in simple things, like a sunny day, a walk in the park, or the smell of freshly ground coffee first thing in the morning.
Substitute ‘material gain’ in that first sentence for ‘winning’ – or add it as a second or alternative motivation – and I’d agree 100%.
None of my friends stumbled into being rich. They went for it. They didn’t have much of a work-life balance. Or rather they did because work and life was one and the same, so there wasn’t much to topple over anyway.
Many of you will probably find this a bit dispiriting, and are likelier to agree with the bits in the article about how there’s more to life than money.
Of course there is! Much more.
I’m just saying the people I know who got a lot of it first wanted to get a lot of it. Right or wrong, and whatever else they were after in life.
They weren’t necessarily happy or miserable before – nor more so afterwards.
Shiny and/or happy people
All that said, this thought experiment is perceptive:
If the health trackers we wear on our wrists that track our activity and sleep could somehow accurately tell us a happiness score out of 100, and in addition, we could compare that score with friends and celebrities then we would obsess over that number. It would be used to elevate our status as money is today. We’d all want to improve our score and make it into the top 1% of the population’s happy people.
We’re fixated on wealth because it’s measurable whereas happiness is hidden, but if that curtain was unveiled and our happiness became public knowledge then it would have a seismic effect on how we live our lives.
Food for thought.
Go read the rest of the article. And have a great weekend!