When I die: financial affairs fit for the afterlife

New contributor The Realist makes the case for a ‘When I Die’ file that gathers all your worldly financial, er, gumf in one place. Your heirs will thank you. Especially if you remember to tell them where to find it in advance…

Who wants to spend whatever free time is left after work, sleep, feeding children, transporting children, and cleaning up after children… thinking about how someday those children may find themselves struggling to unpick our finances when we depart?

I know I don’t.

I can barely find the time to watch the Formula One from two days ago on record – probably after I’ve already found out the result through some pesky algorithm. (Do better, artificial intelligence!)

However if my beloved sport is sometimes lampooned as a procession, then the same might be said about life.

By which I mean it’s only a matter of when, not if, we shuffle off this mortal track. And there’s no pause or rewind button to postpone the inevitable.

Will you, won’t you?

Statistically speaking, death is pretty likely. Studies show that 100% of humans participate in the endeavour at some point.

Oh well, when it’s your turn you won’t care what happens afterwards, right?

Wrong. Anyone who has written a will has already realised this – and thought about what they’d like to have happen when there are no more pit stops left to take.

Your will (‘and testament’) is the starting point for whoever will deal with the aftermath of your passing.

A will is legal document that outlines how your assets – money, property, possessions – should be distributed after your death.

Wills also enable you to appoint guardians for your minor children, and to name an executor to manage your estate. They can be written with a local solicitor or even online with services such as Farewill.

If you have no will then stop reading and go and get one. I’ll still be here when you’re done.

Got a will? Good stuff.

But that’s not quite the end of the story.

Because the reality is that while having a will is great in theory – in practice dealing with your estate can still be tricky for those left behind, even with a will in hand.

The Grey Box

Life is full of surprises.

In our family we expected the infirm, sedentary, eight-years-the-senior mother-in-law to go first. The younger, fitter, active father-in-law would surely only follow her some immeasurable rounds of golf later.

Forces at play in 2021 had other ideas.

Covid, specifically. You may have heard of it.

My wife is an only child. So with my mother-in-law unable to offer much assistance, it fell to my wife and me to deal with the aftermath of everything that comes with the passing of a parent.

You’d need to be a Zen master to find much to smile about at a time like this.

Nevertheless we did run into one heartening provision that significantly altered the trajectory of much that was otherwise flying towards the proverbial fan.

Enter: The Grey Box.

We called it The Grey Box not because its contents were shrouded in a swirling fog of mystery, but because it was, well, a grey box.

A grey metal box as it happens.

And inside this box was a ‘When I Die’ file that made everything much easier.

Everything you need to know but were too afraid to ask

Sometimes called an ‘If I Die’ file, I’ve removed the implied jeopardy of the situation and will refer to it as a ‘When I Die’ (WID) file from here on.

My father-in-law was an accountant by trade. If I had to describe him in one word it’d be ‘organised’.

And by foreseeing the need for – and organising – his WID file to the future benefit of his family, my father-in-law made dealing with his affairs much easier.

You see, estate management – particularly if a death is unexpected – is challenging.

Financial gifts of inheritance steal the limelight. But being informed by the recently departed about what to sort out and where it can be found might be a greater gift.

Let’s talk about sex

Okay, not the mid-article interlude you were expecting!

But it’s relevant, because studies over the past two decades have found that Britons would rather talk to their family about sex than money matters.

Yep, we’re more likely to discuss an ex-partner’s foot fetish than an ex-employer’s defined benefit pension scheme.

Unless I’ve lived a particularly sheltered life though, only the latter is likely to be of interest to my family once I’ve sidled off to the Pearly Gates.

So let’s talk more about personal finance, eh?

Would I die to you

Your WID file should contain everything that your loved ones will need to make sense of your financial life when you move on.

As a starting point, your WID should cover the following areas.

Personal details – Obvious, maybe. But perhaps there’s a legal middle name you have never admitted to, or an annulled marriage from your youth where you briefly had a different name? This could matter when your executors are making filings or searches on your behalf.

Will and estate information – Either a copy of your will, or details of where it’s kept.

Insurance – A full list of insurances held is vital. These will either need to be cancelled, or else they may be due to payout in the event of your death. (Perhaps instructions on where to find the ten-year warranty for that air fryer you’ve promised to your brother-in-law might also come in handy?)

CV – Or rather, a complete list of your employment history. You didn’t know that Dad used to have a night job stacking ice cream boxes? No, neither did we. But there could be a forgotten pension associated with it somewhere.

Pensions – Since the rollout of workplace pensions, the number of individual pension pots held by individuals has increased. Be sure to list what you have and who manages it, plus any benefits that may be due to payout now you’re not here.

List of accounts – This is where it gets trickier. As a minimum, include all financial organisations where you’re a customer and detail the account types you hold with each. Account numbers will also help.

Passwords – Do not include your little black book of pin numbers. Storing them alongside account information is a huge risk in the event of theft. Instead, use a password manager or as a last resort, a coded but decipherable message as to where the critical passwords can be found. UPDATE: Reader @DavidV has noted in the comments that you should not access digital accounts of the deceased held solely in their name, as this may be a breach of the Terms and Conditions and also may not be legal. See comment #2 below and this guidance from the Bereavement Advice Centre.

Property deeds – Murphy’s Law dictates that shortly after you’re gone, next door’s fence will blow over. Or is it your fence? At least when armed with the property deeds your executors can have a sensible discussion.

Debts – Loans, credit cards, and mortgages. Your executors will assume responsibility for settling these as required.

Important contacts – Numbers and email addresses for the family solicitor, accountant, work colleagues, and your distant cousin Andrew in Australia. Anyone who should be informed – or you want informed – in the event of your passing.

Funeral arrangements – It’s becoming more common for people to plan their own funeral whilst alive. Perhaps your family are not aware you did? This is a good place to keep the relevant paperwork, just in case.

Any other pertinent information – Include personal wishes that may not be covered elsewhere. (You want your ashes sent up into the atmosphere in a giant Roman candle? Who knew!)

LPAs – Strictly speaking, Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) documents would be called upon prior to your death. Keep them here though, because if a LPA is needed, you may not have the capacity to explain the WID file location or its contents anyway.

Easy access

Even the best WID file is useless if no one can find it. This is not the time for riddles or for turning the house upside down like some high stakes escape room puzzle.

Pick one or two trusted people. Tell them exactly where your file is. If it’s digital then tell them how to access it.

Any other business?

This was not an exhaustive list and your WID file is not a one-and-done project. It’s an opening framework to periodically update and tweak to suit your needs.

Life changes. Financial institutions get merged, assets move, and maybe you’ve decided you no longer want Hells Bells played at your funeral because your leather jacket hasn’t fitted you in years.

Thoughts for the future

Remember, the purpose of your WID file is to help those you love to deal with your loss during what will be a very emotional time.

So make it relevant to your life, and keep everything together in a single, logical place. Not at the back of the man-drawer filing system where you store those little coin-shaped batteries.

Understand that what makes perfect sense to you might look like a car crash to someone picking up your WID file for the first time.

Heck, it may even look like a car crash to you once you’re done compiling it. In which case perhaps it’s time to simplify your finances?

That pension pot with just £9,000 sitting in it from 2001 – can it be consolidated into your main SIPP? If so that’s one less financial institution that’s going to hoard a precious original death certificate for six months.

Estate planning isn’t just about paperwork – it’s an emotional act of care. By creating a clear, accessible file with fewer moving parts to deal with, you’re giving your loved ones the gift of less stress during an awful time.

True, there is an account tracing service run by the National Bereavement Service. But by being intentional now you’ll spare your executors a scavenger hunt through banks and brokers they’ve never heard of.

Positive thinking

I accept that creating your own Grey Box may sound a bit morbid. Nobody wants to think about this stuff.

However I’ve found that doing so can also be oddly comforting. A reminder that whilst we can’t control everything, we can cut down the chaos we’ll inevitably leave behind.

Also: your box doesn’t need to be grey! You can even give it a funny name if it helps.

Perhaps you should speak to your own parents about doing a WID if they’re still around, too? Here’s a nice project to keep them busy…

Better yet speak to anyone for whom you might be an executor.

Let’s all get our own Grey Boxes going. I know it’s hardly ideal dinner table conversation fodder. But one day you may be grateful you broached the subject.

Sex and pensions – you can’t discuss either when you or they are gone.

Grey matters

In our family we’re eternally grateful for our father-in-law’s Grey Box.

When he collated it, my father-in-law could have had no expectation that it would be called into action so soon. He was only 72 and full of life.

However its thoughtful contents were ready just when we needed them most.

This was possibly the greatest gift he could have passed on to us. With time and consideration, your own Grey Box might be the greatest gift you can give, too.

• More morbid: The Accumulator outlined his investing succession plan – starting with a love letter to the surviving partner – in a post for Monevator members.